Monday, 23 August 2010

In the second in a series of darkly humorous pieces, following on from the last one which introduced humorous terms such as ''Old Style People'' and ''new style people'' etc, BC1959 hopes this article will make you smile, and get us righteously angry. This fictional story takes place sometime between 2012 and 2015 in Britain, and draws upon actual current events, and humorous possibilities.

As dawn broke over his once thriving, and relatively crime free town, Paul awoke to the fresh smell of coffee. ''
Come on Paul, it's time to get up, you've got your interview today, and I've managed to scrape up the ''toll money'' for the journey by putting off the Winterfest savings until next week.'' His wife, Jane, was frantically trying to enthuse Paul, and juggling her time between three jobs. Paul showered, ate his breakfast of special ''breakfast biscuits'', and off he went. He was not looking forward to the journey, as he had to pay the new toll fee of £5.00 for his trip. New EU rules state that: ''If a driver can be within one Kilometre of his or her final destination before 4pm, no further fee is required on return''.

Obviously, the hundreds of faceless Bureaucrats in Brussels, conveniently forgot that most companies, those still in business, close around 5pm or even half past, making it impossible for Paul to get anywhere near his home for that time. Paul was also furious that the journey each day, would now cost £10, and also that the term ''Kilometer'' instead of Mile, was used, when this was in fact Great Britain. The interview he was dreading, was not for another job, but to keep his own. A points system had been put in place, and based upon his commitment to his job, time-keeping, and other related EU dictates, such as his willingness to train '
'ethnic minorities'' up to his own qualification, he would be given another three month contract.

This was a very bad day indeed. Paul was given notice that he would not be given another contract, even though he'd been there for six years and was fully qualified. He was not in good spirits on his return. As he handed his swipe card over to the Turkish toll operator, he raised his eyebrows, shook his head, and uttered '
'Funny how you've got a job, and I'm handing over a tenner to a foreigner after losing mine''. That was not the end of it either. His ''redundancy'' letter soon followed, apparently, he'd been ''let go'' because he had not gained enough points. His attitude toward the training of foreign immigrants was deemed ''contrary to what employers and the government expects regarding the racially motivated intolerance of employee number EU189, otherwise known as Paul Smith''. Both Paul and Jane were furious, but nothing could be done other than Paul looking for another job... at 44 years of age.

Still, things seemed better on the other side of the street, and not everyone is having bad luck. Former HAS (Homosexual Asylum Seeker), Brigstock Williams, is delighted with the EU... oops, sorry, Home Office decision to allow him to stay on in Britain. His home, the three bed Council House former home of Mr and Mrs Clive McAllister, a war veteran 89, and wife aged 86, has been handed over to him. Mr and Mrs McAllister, were told to leave their home of 60 years, because they do not need such a large house, and West Indian Mr Williams, is seeking Asylum because of his country's
''Homophobic oppression''. The McAllister's now live in a small council flat, ten stories up, and will enjoy their meals delivered to them, which include ''Halal'' approved meat.

It's been a year now, and West Indian ''
Homosexual'' Mr Williams surprised neighbours and officials, by having a large wedding, and his bride, Lara, went on honeymoon to Jamaica... strange how the oppressed bounce back after a year on the ''Benefits Riviera''... otherwise known as Great Britain. Also understandable (if you don't want to argue with officials) is the change in the sexuality of Mr Williams, who now seems to prefer females and holidaying in a supposedly hostile place of birth. Whilst listening to the state news, Paul and Jane decide to take up the offer of help from various, tax payer funded organisations ''to get people back to work''. Angry and disappointed, Jane trawls through the paperwork, and Paul goes off to the many offices (employment centres) to be interviewed. He comes home, week in, week out, with the same job titles under his arm. Surely this can't be happening he thinks. After his thirtieth CV is sent out, a company providing ''opportunities for all'' rings him, and invited him to attend a meeting. This he does, and Jane, now only doing one job, because needy immigrants from Turkey and Africa have been employed, is very anxious he gets this position.

With money now in short supply, Paul and Jane wishing to get out of their increasingly ''
diverse'' community, as proven by Police presence at the local school, where the new curriculum includes stabbing, shootings and other third-world pass times for white people to be ''enriched'', he comes home with good news. ''I've got the job'', he shouts to Jane. ''Great, when do you start'' she asks. He starts Monday, and as long as he can ''car share'', and donates a percentage of his income to ''The Worldwide Fund For The Reconstruction Of White Europe'', Paul is excited at getting the job, as there were over 1000 applicants. The manager told him he was successful because of the laws relating to ''Ethnic Quotas''. Paul was amazed. ''How do you mean'' he enquired. ''You are the only white European'' smiled the manager as he spoke. ''But I'm white English or British'' replied Paul. ''Yes, we saw your application, and because of your inflexibility towards ethnic groups in your last job, we altered it to fill the quota as ''There's no such thing as British''.

Sadly, Paul's job, and Jane's last hope, her part time job at a local University, were not to last. Paul was replaced by a 22 year old Iranian chap, taken on after not being able to gain employment following his 5 years studying at ''Uni'', to become a qualified business manager in the Health Service. Jane's job ceased to exist, because '
'European Union ethnic quotas'' dictated that there were too many ''White European people'' there, and so, after all the hard work, graft, grovelling, and avoiding serious trouble locally, both were now defunct. The Smith's sold their home for a fraction of it's real worth, and took their young son out of the local school. The house they were once proud of, now sits uninhabited, and neighbours are left wondering what that smell is. The Vietnamese owners are only seen twice every month, and flit in and out of the premises at ridiculous hours... still, some people work funny hours don't they?

After their entry into the realms of ''
The New World Order'', the Smiths are left wondering what went wrong, after all, they ate the right foods that the media and big business told them was good for them. Their brains were sharper and they were supposedly able to think clearer and physically be more active. Why did they not see this coming if they were that much of a ''modern, Liberal family'' then? They had adhered to all the rules, and went to the various ''Community Activities'' to engage with Black and Asian people. Exactly why, they thought, should they end up with nothing to show for their ''good citizenship''?
Anyway, the good news is, (for the establishment) the Smiths are refusing to integrate with part of the 8% of white folks left on the planet, in their new community. They refuse to engage with ''the Racist BNP'' candidate, and have told her in no uncertain terms, where to go. They will soon be working for Tax Payer funded organisations, set up to oppose Nationalist groups, and extremists.

Yes, both Paul and Jane, are now fully involved, salaried, and contracted to '
'The Worldwide Fund For The Reconstruction Of White Europe''. Their new neighbours, Mr and several Mrs Khan, are lucky to have them so near, as they are both ''heads of department'' in this organisation. The Smiths new job, involves searching though thousands of files, to ''filter out names of those in far-right groups'', and introduce disadvantaged ''ethnic minorities'' to further education. Little Alan Smith, now in a lovely, ''vibrant'' school, enriched to Ninety Eight percent, knows what it is like to be a white minority child. After some bullying, in which he is called names, abused racially, and put in a corner of the class, because he ''used racist language'' whilst asking a teacher ''why he was the only white kid in class'', he now understands that ''racism is only a white crime''. Happy and contented in this knowledge, young Alan can look forward to further education when he is older, just like the immigrants, can't he?

Hundreds of immigrants, so disadvantaged, under privileged, and poor, are sent to ''Uni''. And as Alan grows up into a fine, state sponsored ''
World Citizen'', he and his family will have years of looking forward to their opportunities... They never come though, as University places are now so over subscribed, what with disadvantaged minorities and people from non-working backgrounds that, Alan has now got a job at a new, multi-million Euro supermarket. His days are full of stacking shelves, stock taking, and along with dozens of University Graduates, some whom graduated five years earlier, takes home the minimum wage.

His parents have never had it so good, and with their large, performance related,
''Guardian Careers'' style job, make enough money to go on foreign holydays to ''Emerging Economy'' countries, and do charity work whilst watching the building of Nuclear factories, enjoying the flies, cholera, and being relieved of their cash in various ways. Once back, the ugly face of ''Racist Politics'' greets them, as a full campaign by the local British National Party is underway. They are disgusted with the policies of ''this group'', because they spread lies about the government, the EU, and the immigrant crime wave. There's no such thing you see, after all, what Mr and Mrs Smith are really worried about, is losing their well paid jobs, and risk having their son awake to the fact he is now a slave, and a milk cow to the EU tax take. We can't have that can we?